Remember all the things they did wrong in The Force Awakens? Well, in order to correct those things this film decided to AMPLIFY those same mistakes!!
Remember how the entire point of the force awakens was getting the lightsabre to Luke via Ray? Well the first thing Luke does is nonchalantly chuck it away as if to laugh in our face for wasting two hours + two years wondering.
And just like the force awakens did before it, the last Jedi steals elements and character types from the original trilogy and jumbles it up hoping to fool us into thinking it’s something new.
There’s the ethnically diverse ally (Lando), the slickster who betrays the good guys to save his own skin (also Lando), the reluctant mentor (Yoda), the cool-looking charcter with a lame death (Boba Fett)…
Piece of shit.
A return of the Jedi-esc scene in the Emperor’s throne, a Hoth-esc battle on a snow-wait no, “salt” planet. There’s the deep dark scene where Luke-er-Ray, goes into the dark abyss and seeing her reflection.
All of the “comedy” was misfires… there was even one moment that seemed like a Space Balls joke.
And to redeem the crappy lightsaber battle from the force awakens, this one makes up for it by having NONE AT ALL!
Piece of shit.
Aside being insufferably long, it felt like they tried to debunk fan theories by answering things with stupid dumb retarded shit. Like the scene when they say Ray, you know who your parents are? NOBODY!
What the hell? Okay if you’re reading this with me, let me first tell you where I’m coming from… I’m not a “Trump-supporter” nor am I a liberal. I like certain policicies from both the right and the left, so I tend to piss off both extremes.
I fall into the camp of calling a leader out when they do something dumb but acknowledging when get it right. Unfortunately this view is not held by many who seem to think democracy is only good when their guy/girl wins.
So Trump got blasted in the media for having been broad in his initial statement, simply referring to racism and not calling out the KKK by name.
Given how definitive he was about naming Islamic terrorism I can understand that criticism, and clearly so could his advisors because the next day he did name them – after a “raw raw” speech but I digress.
The point is that even after doing what the people wanted, the left media and public figures still complained. It just shows you there is no compassion way out left. Here’s a specifically horrendous tweet by Michael Ian Black I came across:
As heartless and distasteful as this Kathy Griffin-esc statement was, it did get me wondering what was the cause of such a needless crime – beyond of course the idiot behind the wheel.
The rally to protest the removal of the General Lee statue was planned for a long time. If we roll back the clock, when did this rally go from being a demonstration to preserve history into a hate fuelled “white power” march?
That’s where the left-media comes into play, thriving on creating conflict. Obviously there were racists and neo-shit heads there, but imagine if the media had left it alone? Imagine if everyone left them alone? Imagine if BLM never showed up (ironically/hypocritically) protesting these people’s right to protest?
If not for the media-created animosity that young woman almost certainly would not have been there, nor would the tension escalate to the point that it did.
So I hope all of those people whose blind hatred towards everyone who does not share their left-wing political views, take a look in the mirror and realize that these hate-fuelled tweets and news articles are the result of his mentality.
But they won’t. I know this because of how they crucified Trump for doing exactly what they wanted him to do.
Note: My hope would be the same for right-wing people, but at this point the hatred seems to be originating on the left – who have initiated demonstration after protest after riot since Trump’s victory, and have have also deemed it appropriate to hypocritically prevent multiple right-wing demonstrations (such as pro-life).
As I’m sure you guessed by the title of this article it is about a children’s book…
But not just any children’s book, on that has proven to be the perfect fodder for “reaction videos” (link), pranks, or just flat out weird reviews (link).
Still, if you ask me it’s a good read… and even somewhat educational!
A woman is trying to sue Canada’s largest water park (Calypso in Ottawa) for not allowing her to let her titties flop around freely on a water slide the way Mother Nature intended.
Ironically this woman didn’t want her face seen in the paper. It’s also a bit annoying because now I can’t judge if I’d even want to see her gazoongas, nor can I photoshop her face onto a Kardasian.
There is never a shortage of people on both ends of this argument and it seems to go something like this…
Team free the girls (Blue): Men can go topless so we should be allowed to.
Team cover those puppies up (red): that’s because men don’t have breasts.
BLUE: It’s ignorant to deprive us of the same rights men have.
RED: it’s not about rights it’s about biological differences between male and female sex organs. And stop calling everyone ignorant.
BLUE: breasts are only sexualized because of men.
RED: No, breasts sexualization is part of our evolutionary wiring to continue the survival of our species.
BLUE: That’s not evolution, that’s just an excuse to repress women and be sexist.
RED: but it was you who just accused men of being the problem. Isn’t that sexist?
BLUE: no. You’re ignorant.
In the end neither side tends to see eye to eye and the bickering perpetuates.
All I know is that if there are more boobies on show there will also be more erections. And (like the women) the majority of the boners would belong to creepy men that the women probably want nothing to do with – and they would then likely go on to jerk off in the public pool.
Or perhaps young boys who know very little about their bodies other than the fact that the moment they see a woman’s rack something miraculous happens downstairs.
“The Final Problem” is perhaps aptly named as I am seemingly in the minority of people who were disappointed with this episode which could potentially spell the end of the amazing series.
Warning: spoilers ahead!
Episode 2 left is with two great cliffhangers:
1. What is the story of The secret Holmes sister Eurus?
2. What will be the outcome of John getting shot?
How these questions are answered is the real measuring stick of this episode’s success…
The show opens with a sequence where Mycroft is scared while watching an old home movie. The entire scene turns out to be a trick played by Sherlock after which he reveals that he knows that their secret sister was incarcerated and Watson reveals that he was shot with a tranquilizer. It felt completely unnecessary and worse, like we were deceived in the last episode and robbed of seeing Sherlock’s discovery of the sister.
Sherlock, Watson and Mycroft decide to go visit the prison where their sister is supposed to be captive. For some reason, even though Mycroft seems to have sway with the institution – they decide to commandeer a ship and disguise themselves to get themselves into the penitentiary.
Their plan backfires as they learn – in a pretty cool way – that Eurus is actually in charge of the prison. She apparently has the power to “reprogram” people. This is a really interesting concept with a ton of potential… although it also raises several questions that the show avoided such as: if she has this ability – and already escaped, why would she attempt to murder them via a grenade attached to a drone, and subsequently go back to the prison just to wait for them to show up?
We also learn that Eurus also had interactions with Moriarty, but I think they messed this opportunity up as well. This would have been a great explanation for Moriarty’s obsession with Sherlock. But instead they decided that he already had the obsession and just got additional assistance/information from Eurus. Feels like a missed opportunity.
Having enslaved Sherlock, Watson and Mycroft, Euros decides to set up a series of riddles for them to solve. In order to motivate them into action she dangles an impending plane crash over them, which they can help avert by solving the crimes.
However the riddles don’t really add up to anything related to the plane conundrum, nor do they really relate to much at all in the plot. It is as if more than half of the episode was one giant red herring.
By the end of the series of events Sherlock throws a wrench into Eurus’ scheme and she is forced to knock them unconscious (for a second time).
This time when Sherlock wakes up he is in a strange room while Watson is chained to the bottom of a well and Mycroft is nowhere to be found. This time the threat is that Sherlock must solve the mystery of his dog Redbeard in order to save both John and the doomed airplane.
The “answer” to this mystery kind of comes out of nowhere. It’s not one of those mysteries where clues were offered along the way, rather it was a case of Sherlock having the wrong facts due to having been reprogrammed by his sister years ago.
The final answer to the mystery is a cipher hidden among grave stones – which is a ridiculously long message that ultimately tells Sherlock to go to Eurus’ bedroom, where he SHOCKER… finds Eurus – who somehow was sane enough to leave this bizarre clue for Sherlock and yet is so insane that the entire plane situation existed only in her mind (yet somehow this figment of her imagination communicated with Sherlock in yet another unexplained plot hole).
This was all very disappointing, perhaps the most disappointing show of the entire series. But the ending made it even worse. Trying to wrap everything up they found yet another video from Mary where she touts Sherlock and Watson as great adventurers and then it has the audacity to finish with them running towards the camera in a shot that reminded me of the ending of Batman Forever.
I literally lost sleep after this. My mind was arguing between thinking “I hope this isn’t how they end the show” and “where else is there for this show to go from here?”
By the end of season 6 I was pretty annoyed with the show. They had toyed with us multiple times leading up to a huge cliffhanger, wondering who got the wrong end of Negan’s barbed-wire bat.
I only saw a couple options of how they could make this episode worth it and to my delight, they accomplished it in a way I had not predicted.
Personally I thought Michonne was toast, in the end ***spoilers*** it wasn’t just one character but two, first Abraham, then Glenn.
That was a twist I did not see coming although hindsight it is obvious. Taking Glenn out at this point is very interesting, and what follows could be wild… now I will admit that I deliberately avoid the graphic novel – despite the fact that the show often strays from it – because I don’t want to taint my enjoyment of the show, so I have no idea what they “might” do, but it seems like this could lead to something of a passing of the torch of the group’s leadership from Rick to Maggie. She has come a long way through the course of the show, and like every great leader has had moments where she has doubted herself. Now if she would just do a topless scene we’d be set!
I will admit that about halfway into the show when they had not revealed who had gotten the baby seal treatment I was getting restless. They made us wait all this time and were stretching it out again – but luckily it was only a couple minutes after feeling that, that Abraham met his demise. And Glenjamin’s killing came as a bit of a shock because I thought the killing was done, although I did notice the bat was less bloody than it was at the start of the show. And I will admit that part of me was disappointed that Michonne survived because I wanted so badly to be right.
Now like many of the other fans, I saw Daryl as being responsible for Glenn’s undoing, so I was a bit confused when Maggie got upset about the Saviors taking him away. I really hope they don’t let Daryl off the hook for it; I want to see him remorseful, I want to see Maggie either confront and/or forgive him – I want it to be resolved!
Interesting though, the the bludgeoning was not even what this episode was about. It was about Negan forcing Rick into submission. It was very well done and I found myself feeling Rick’s dilemma as he had to make a dreadful choice. Again in hindsight it seems very obvious that he won’t cut off his son’s arm, and it almost echo’s the Abraham / Issac story, but in that moment I felt genuine threat and powerlessness along with Rick.
The creators have said that this is a reset – a turning point that will define the show for a long time. It raises a lot of interesting questions. We’ve seen Rick’s team forced into a corner before and they’ve always fought their way out of it. I can’t see them willfully serving Negan but he has enough voluntary followers that you would think he seduces one or two regulars over to his side.
Whatever the plan is, I will say that this episode restored my faith in the show after losing it last season.
I was really excited to see how they would follow up episode 1, but I was even more disappointed with the result.
South Park has its share of “misses” but those usually come in the form of bizarre detours from the formula or mail characters, like Towlie, the goths etc. But this episode was just dull.
The comedy was sparse and where is did show up it was fairly predictable jokes.
The overriding theme of this episode was that it was meant to be overly dramatic to a point of absurdity. This is okay in small doses but for an entire episode it didn’t work for me. Kudos to the creators for trying this experiment, but in the end it didn’t amount to an especially great episode.
Ironically, this one failed in the exact opposite way that episode 1 did. Where episode 1 felt like there were too many ideas being crammed into a single episode, this could have used more. The main idea in episode 2 is the joke of people leaving social media being compared to suicide – which is dark but funny in concept, but the execution was not quite on point.
I’ll be honest, where episode 1 of season 20 left me optimistic for the season ahead, episode 2 left me a bit concerned. I’m already getting bored of the skankhunt42 storyline so I really hope that their infamous “writer’s retreat” spawned some fresh ideas that will alleviate my fear sooner than later.
… But fails where Batman v Superman (BvS) succeeded.
So that said my review is mainly a comparison to the film’s DC counterpart.
THE GOOD
What I really liked was that both sides’ positions were well established but more importantly, the opposition understood as well. Where the conflict in BvS could have been resolved by a simple conversation, here they had those conversations and a compromise could not be made.
Much like BvS the sides were put at odds by a puppet master of sorts. Zemo was done right where Luthor was done horribly wrong.
Fun. This movie had a much lighter tone which was good in that it was fun, but more on this in a bit…
THE BAD
Although the movie was more light hearted, the jokes and quips extended into the fight scenes which really killed any dramatic tension.
As I said, the puppet master here was generally well done. However when he reveals his plan to the team they stupidly do exactly what he wants rather than recognizing this as a ploy. Worse still, the one who really falls for it is Tony – the guy who’s supposed to be a genius.
Some people complained that BvS was slow placed, but I found this to be much worse in that way.
One of the criticisms of BvS is that the marketing team spoiled it by showing doomsday in the trailer, well Marvel did pretty much the same thing by showing clips of the final fight between Cap, Ironman and Bucky, so I knew this was coming which sort of spoiled any tension for the last act.
The movie sort of goes nowhere. It ends virtually where it began. It was also pretty emotionless. I was desperately hoping for something with emotional power. I wanted someone major to die. So where I think BvS did themselves a disservice killing off Superman, I think Marvel made a mistake by not having any casualties.
Just like Batman v Superman I walked away from this movie unsure if I liked it or not. All I knew for certain was that there were parts that seemed to drag on, and I felt completely unmoved by it. Yet if they took the good things from this movie and the good things from BvS they would have a masterpiece.
Season 6 of TWD will forever be known as the season in which AMC and the writers decided to test the limits of how much they could piss off their fan base.
They are begging us to trust that they have a plan and there will be an adequate pay-off and yet fail to accept that we’ve been fooled before!
The Season actually started out pretty wild, bursting through the gates with attacks from the Wolves and Glenn’s apparent demise. But then it suddenly went off the rails!
The Wolves essentially vanished, with no further explanation as to who they are and what they’re about, Glenn’s death turned out to be a cheap hoax, and we had to sit through an incredibly dull extra-long episode telling the boring tale of why Morgan doesn’t kill.
The show seemed to get back on track again when Jesus popped up, but eventually he wound up disappearing from the show as well.
Episode after episode seemed to drag on as long as they felt they could get away with, typically having only one or two actual events take place per episode, culminating in the second to last episode, where Daryl, who all but disappeared himself got shot in the very last shot, as yet another “cliffhanger” – which once again was not properly paid off.
This brings us to the finale, which plodded along at zombie pace, with the heroes trying to get Maggie to a doctor but being cut off and taunted at every possible pass by the saviors, while Morgan is pursuing Carol, whose character has devolved from the once alpha-female into a blubbering wuss.
That being said, Morgan’s story conclusion was the one saving grace for this episode. By killing to save Carol he simultaneously proved her point of view right, as well as letting us know that he cares very deeply for her.
When the main crew gets ambushed they are introduced to Negan, who lines them up and bashes in the skull of one of them, while we the audience are left to guess who got the wrong end of Lucille.
So this brings me back to my initial point, that AMC have painted themselves into a corner that they may not be able to get out of. Let’s look at each of the death candidates and what their death would imply…
Rick – if Rick is the one that gets it the show is done. period. Carl – Since Judith is nowhere to be seen these days, Carl is really the only thing Rick has to hold onto. His death at this stage in the show would be absolutely meaningless, as their story-arc has not yet maturated.
Eugene – They said their goodbyes to Eugene thinking he was going on a suicide run, so if it is him it will come off as too obvious and an easy out for the writers. Daryl – Even though he hasn’t done much lately it would be pretty weak to kill him off in such a lame way. He and the fans deserve more. Abraham – I have been wanting to see Abraham take up the mantle of Rick’s guardian ever since he showed up, but his character is still a lot of fun – probably the most accessible among the group. However all the baby talk prior to being captured could make him an option, yet once again this would seem like an obvious and weak choice. Sasha – Much like Abraham and the baby talk I could see her going. Of course Sasha is a pretty thin character so offing her would be a very weak/easy out choice for them. Rosita – Rosita has only had about two memorable scenes this season, so killing her off would be yet another easy out for the writers. Maggie – This one is interesting. If Maggie and her unborn child are whacked Glenn would be destroyed and the show would lose it’s hottest actress. The only thing that would make me think it’s not her is the fact that after getting clubbed we didn’t hear Glennjamin scream. Glenn – It is well-known by this point that Glenn is the one Negan kills in the comic. But having already pretended to kill Glenn once this season, it would be pretty weak to kill him “for real” like this. Michonne – She is a fan favorite, but her role has been diminished of late. As Rick’s current squeeze she may easily be the one to go in order to propel Rick into another rampage. Aaron – Another minor character/easy out.
My vote: Either Maggie or Michonne, but I’m leaning towards Michonne.
When I reviewed Man of Steel my closing thought was that the true measure of the film would be its sequel.
Well, here we are. The first movie has had time to be digested in the intestines of my mind and the sequel has flown in coming with 3 types of early reactions:
1. People absolutely hate it, and feel it is the worst superhero movie ever made
2. People love it (but come across as WB plants)
3. People who say it’s okay – but sound like they truly hate it but are afraid to say as much, dreading the ire of fan boys.
Let’s just say I was not optimistic that my loyalty to Man of Steel would be warrented. But I will say this: I don’t give a clean Kryptonian shit what anyone else thinks, these are my honest opinions like it or not.
So my overall opinion… it was okay. It could’ve been a LOT better and I think I know how too.
Rather than tell you where it went wrong and tell you all the spoilers I will give you the plot of what I think they SHOULD’VE done.
First of all, I thing this should’ve been TWO movies.
Movie 1: Clark Kent struggles with his challenge to maintain a secret identity and have a fulfilling relationship with Lois, who is always off on dangerous assignments. Meanwhile Bruce Wayne is upset with Superman (as is half of the free world) because they wrongly blame him for the casualties of the Zod fight.
Lex Luthor has been collecting information on metahumans because of an obsession which has cost him a good deal of his fortune. During his obsession, Luthor has gotten ahold of Zod’s corpse as well as the Kryptonian ship and Kryptonite. His team has begun genetic experiments on the corpse while Lex pits Batman against Superman and even provides the dark knight with Kryptonite for his sadistic pleasure.
Batman, enraged, lures Superman into battle but the Man of Steel overcomes his Kryptonite-armed foe and mercifully leaves him intact.
Batman, uses his detective skills to uncover what Lex has been up to, including spying on the other metahumans and wages war on Lex, who had planned for such an attack and would destroy the dark knight except that Superman comes to his aid. But Lex has Kryptonite of his own, so the two heroes must combine their efforts to take Lex and his goons down.
In the wake of this, Bruce Wayne uses his public image to help make Superman a public icon of hope.
MOVIE 2: Lex’s genetic tampering with Zod becomes the monster Doomsday, which has Batman calling on the assistance of the other metahumans and essentially creating the Justice League. Bruce Wayne’s PTSD comes full force as he finally learns that his demons go much deeper than even he knew. The battle concludes with the death of the world’s beloved symbol of hope, Superman.
And one more thing… IF and only IF we have to see Bruce Wayne’s parents death – it will finally be done with no damn pearl necklace!
Doing this would not only have made two awesome movies but had all the elements of BOTH superheoes that I loved since childhood! Mic drop.
Keith Dumbuck 