Everyone knows the 2014 TMNT movie was a mess. So the production team decided to learn from their mistakes and make the sequel… worse.
There is so much wrong with this movie, probably most notably that it does not know what it is. It is trying to be both gritty and funny failing at both. The jokes fall flat and any sort of “realism” is negated by the fact that virtually everything the characters do is unrelatable, unbelievable and/or nonsensical.
Casey Jones is a huge problem in this movie. The fact that this character both looked and behaved like Chris O’Donnell in Batman & Robin ought to be the first hint that there are problems. He begins working as a prison guard transporting Shredder – as well as Bebop and Rocksteady. While doing so, Shredder’s minions break him out in a sequence that has so many needless explosions I’m sure Michael Bay was creaming his pants. The turtles drive in to save the day but Shredder gets magically transported away.
Keeping with Casey, he is reprimanded when relaying the events to his superiors at which point he tells them about his ambitions to be a detective in a way that makes him sound like a rejected American Idol contestant out to prove everyone wrong. Keen to prove himself, he hunts down Bebop and Rocksteady – first by intimidating a bartender by throwing CDs around, then by dressing up like a hockey player (for some reason) and ultimately getting in a fight with foot clan ninjas – where he is both too inept to notice a ninja star in his mask, yet skilled enough to beat them in hand-to-hand combat (including sword fighting with a hockey stick).
He spends the rest of the movie moping about how little he has accomplished.
Let’s backtrack a little… when Shredder was transported he was sent to a room with Krang for some reason. Krang decides to enlist the help of Shredder to help him transport his alien ship to Earth so Krang can take the planet over. For some reason Shredder seems eager to help. Krang himself is the perfect embodiment of the film’s confusion. He attempts to be both a threat and funny, and again is neither.
In order to do his part, Shredder has to collect a bunch of alien relics to create an inter-dimensionary porthole. To do this important task he decides to send his two stupidest followers, Bebop and Rocksteady, who were mutated into a warthog and rhino, not by the same means that the turtles were mutated, but by Krang’s alien goo that randomly changes people based on what dormant animal genes are in their evolutionary ancestry. Yes, that is the best they could come up with. It was Baxter Stockman who carried out the mutation, and spends most of his time trying to make jokes to Shredder, to which Shredder remains deadpan. I’m amazed they thought this would be funny. They do it a couple times in the film. I think someone needs to teach these guys comedy 101 – “surprise”. If everyone known what your punchline is going to be it is not humorous.
Have I even mentioned the turtles themselves yet? They actually do play a part in the film, kind of. Mostly they are just debating whether to use this alien goo to transform themselves into humonoids or not.
This leads us to the ultimate showdown… an utterly dull “fight” with Krang who has made his way to Earth and frozen Shredder. They fire Krang back to his own dimension and suddenly Laura Linney – Oh yeah, she’s in it too – turns her back on everything she’s been about this whole film and preaches to the turtles about acceptance.
Megan Fox is in the movie too… and even after two films she is not April O’Neil to me.
I was hoping there would at least be a post-credits scene to set up Shredder and/or Krang’s fate but no such luck. The movie ended as pitifully as it played out.
Even when reboots go amiss there are usually some components that I like. in this case I can’t think of a single one. This movie should go back into the shadows.
As for the DVD features… It is essentially the filmmakers trying to convince you of how good the movie is. Fail.
Keith Dumbuck 